The Alternative Eleventh Season
by CMSGirl
Summary: This story is on Hiatus! An Alternative Eleventh Season. Marthie. Simon and Sandy. Lucy lossing the twins. And more! Review please!
1. Prologe

****

Prologue

Eric Camden could feel it and couldn't explain it. It was a feeling he'd never felt before, a feeling that something big was going to happen and soon. As he lay their in the warmth of his wife's arms, the feeling came and now it was tormenting him. He couldn't stop wondering if it was good or if it was bad.

Ruthie Camden boarded the plan to California with a look of utter disappointment. Sadly her summer in Scotland was coming to an end. She was going home and back to all the reminders of her broken heart.

Sandy Jameson looked down at her sleeping son. How could she have done this made such a mistake? A mistake that would affect her son's life and the lives of so many others.

Lucy Camden Kinkirk sat in the room that had been meant for her unborn sons that would remain unborn forever. The baby blue bunny covered room seemed to be closing in around her causing the tears to fall once more. She felt betrayed by life and God, even by herself.

Kevin Kinkirk could feel his wife slipping slowly away from him and it seemed like there was nothing he could do to change that. His heart was already broken but it seemed to be breaking more and more with each day as he watched his wife fall apart. She just couldn't seem to let go and say goodbye.

Robbie Palmer knew about never letting go. He'd never let go of the Camdens and he never could. He'd been in Florida with his mother and brothers for the past couple of years but it was time to go home, home to his real home and his family, the Camden family. It had been way too long and it was time to return.

Matt too felt it had been way too long, but for something completely different his wife in his arms. He missed sex! And her of course. Kids really do change everything he thought to himself.

Martin completely agreed with Matt. Kids changed everything not that he didn't love his son Aaron, but it was a lot of work having to juggle a job and school work along with parenting. He'd begun to feel he spent more time driving back and forth than with his son.

Mary had a secret that was coming back into her life once again, bringing with it a very big decision, a decision involving a lot of lives and some of them children's lives. It was decision she had to make and soon.

Annie knew something was wrong when she heard her two younger sons scream for help. Their voice calling to her with terror and worry. Something was wrong. Very wrong.


	2. Chapter One: Blast From the Past

**Author's Note: The lines are there to annouce a new scene or a memory, because fanfiction is werid about enter and spacing:) **

**Chapter One **

**Blast from the Past **

Ruthie headed over to baggage claim were she was suppose to met her parents. After collecting her bags, she sat down and waited.

"Ruthie?" a voice asked from behind her, turning she looked up to see a familiar face, "It is you!"

"Robbie?!" Ruthie squealed jumping into his arms, "What are you doing here?"

"Coming home to see my family. Finally!" he said pulling away from her bear hug and looking down at her, "You've grown up Snookie."

"It so good to see you!" she said smiling at the old nickname.

"It's good to see you too. You have to tell me all about Scotland." he said smiling back, "Where are your parents?"

"I don't know. They were supposed to be here thirty minutes ago. I called and no answer." Ruthie said, "Do they know you're here?"

"Nope, It's supposed to be a surprise." he said.

"So I heard Mary, Carlos, Charlie, and the twins came to see you in Florida last month."

"Yeah but something was up with Mary." Robbie told her, "Even Carlos said something to me about it. Said she'd been acting weird for a couple of weeks and then she wanted to go to Florida."

"She has a secret."

"I'll take your word for it. You've always been right in that department." Robbie replied.

"It's a gift!" Ruthie said with a laugh.

"You know your parents should be here by now."

"I know it's not like them."

* * *

"Ma'am you need to take a seat. I'll tell you as soon as I have any information on your husband." the nurse told Annie in a desperate attempt to calm her down.

"No you won't!" Annie yelled, "You're going to go back behind those doors and find me a damn doctor!"

"I'll call security if you don't calm down. You're gonna end up back there with your husband. Now please, ma'am take a seat." the nurse told her, "Theirs a pay phone down the hall. Why don't you call someone?"

It was only then that Annie remembered she'd forgotten about Ruthie. She quickly ran over to where the boys laid asleep and grabbed her purse. She punched the numbers in as fast as she could.

"Where are you?" Ruthie asked in a bratty voice after the first ring.

"I'm at the hospital..." Annie began only to be cut off by Ruthie.

"Robbie and I will get a cab and be their as soon as we can." Ruthie said, sounding more grown-up than she felt.

"I love you, Ruthie."

"I love you, too. Bye." Ruthie said. _Robbie? _Annie thought for a second and then went back to worrying.

* * *

Ruthie sat in silence all the way home from the hospital; her dad had passed out and had yet to wake up. They had no idea why he'd passed or if he'd wake up. They had no idea what was wrong with him.

Robbie pulled Annie's mini van into the driveway and got out. Annie had stayed behind at the hospital and Lucy had taken Sam and David with her.

"It's going to be alright." Robbie said putting his arms around Ruthie.

Martin was spending the night at his dad's. Looking out the window at the Camden's house he saw Ruthie in the driveway in the arms of an older man. Infuriated and angry he flew up and ran down the stairs.

Ruthie began to sob harder, "The last time I talked to him I was mad at him for making me come home." she said into Robbie's shirt.

"Who are you?" Martin yelled, causing Ruthie to turn around, upon seeing her tears Martin processed to punch Robbie in the face.

"No one makes her cry!" Martin yelled at him, "You hear me?"

"No that's your job." Ruthie yelled as she ran into the house.

"Hi, I'm Robbie." Robbie said standing up, "Ruthie's like my sister."

"She was like mine too." Martin answered back punching him again.

Ruthie flung herself onto her bed and began to ball, only when she felt Happy lay down beside her did she turn over to pat the white terrier's head.

"I missed you girl." she said, "I really did. You know Dad's going to be fine. He just has to. Doesn't he, Happy?"


	3. Chapter Two: Secrets and Heartbreaks

**Chapter Two**

**Secrets and Heartbreaks**

Mary sat looking out the airplane window with her infant daughter Grace in her arms, her son Charlie in the seat beside her, and Carlos her husband on the outer seat holding Grace's twin Emma. Everyone was sound asleep expect for Mary. She was worried about her father and on top of that she had a huge decision she had to make and soon.

Pieces of memories kept flying into her mind like the day she trashed the gym or the day she'd met Frankie and Johnny. And the day she left for Buffalo, but one memory kept repeating in her mind. She had still felt hurt and angry.

* * *

_Mary Camden the reverends daughter lay in bed beside a man she'd only met the night before. A man she barely knew. Slipping out from under the covers and wrapping herself in a blanket Mary began to collect her clothes. When she finally ended up in the bathroom she let herself cry. _

"_What have I done?" she asked her reflection, "What have I done?" _

_Late the night before she'd got mad, snuck out of colonel and Ruth's, and headed to bar where she met some girls and ended up at a party, where she'd met this guy whose name she couldn't even remember. Mary looked down at her shaky hands and then back up at her reflection. Mary Camden had just had a one night stand and she regretted it._

* * *

"Mary?" Carlos said bringing Mary back to the present.

"Yeah Carlos?" she said carefully turning so she didn't wake baby Grace.

"Emma's hungry." he said with a warm smile that made her smile back. They carefully switched babies and then Mary headed into the restroom to breastfeed.

Robbie sat in the kitchen with an ice pack on his bruised cheek. Thinking to himself that Martin Brewer was as nuts as a fruitcake.

"Hey!" Ruthie said walking into the kitchen, "I'm really sorry Martin hit you."

"You and me both." Robbie said with a smile.

"He's not usually like that." Ruthie said making herself a glass of orange juice, "Has my mom called?"

"Yes." Robbie said looking down, "I'm sorry Ruthie no change."

* * *

Lucy was hearing those same words from Kevin and it was tearing her in two. Her heart just couldn't handle anymore. She got up from the kitchen table and headed for the unused nursery.

She sat down in the rocking chair near the window. The sun seemed too bright for her broken heart. Lucy bent down and picked up a stuffed bear meant for one of her sons and started at wondering they would have loved this bear. Would it have been a bear they took everywhere? Or would it have sat on a shelf? Feeling tears slip she hugged the bear tighter and let herself cry silently.

Kevin stood outside the nursery door listening to the squeaking of the rocking chair. It was killing him to see her like this and to be unable to do nothing.


	4. Chapter Three: Regret and Worry

Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

**Regrets and Worry**

Sandy opened the folded and wrinkled paper for the hundredth time. She read the words for the thousandths. Not a Match. How could three words mean something so big. She had no idea how she was going to tell Martin. How was she going to tell Simon?

She knew she was going to be late for class so she folded the results again and put them in her purse. She grabbed Aaron up off the floor and headed for the door. She found Simon standing their out of breath.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"My dad…My dad…." he began as he huffed and puffed.

"Breath Simon!" Sandy said, "Breath."

"In the hospital….My car in the shop……And your cell is going straight to voicemail!" he said still out of breath, "I need a ride….to Glen Oak."

"Sure." Sandy said dropping her messenger bag with her books and completely forgetting about her classes.

Martin sat outside in his dad's backyard. He felt like an idiot, he'd punched a complete stranger for hugging Ruthie. Why did he get so angry where Ruthie and guys were concerned? Every time he saw Harry, Jack, Brian, or Vincent he wanted to punch the smiles right off their faces. Why did he feel this way? He was supposed to see her as a sister or a friend right? Yet every time he saw her he wanted…..he wanted more.

He couldn't seem to stop thinking about her and her smile. She had a way of setting him at ease and they talked really talked. He couldn't really talk to anyone openly like he could with her, but ever since he'd told her about Sandy things had changed. He loved his son more than anything but he wished things could have stayed the same between them. Deep down he knew they never would be.

Ruthie was feeling so guilty. What if her dad died? The last things she'd said to him had been cruel and bratty. She was hating herself. She wanted to scream. She him wanted to cry. She wanted to run and hug her dad. She wanted her daddy. She was only seventeen and as much as she said she didn't need him she did. She needed to hear him say everything was going to be alright. Since he couldn't say the words she whispered them to herself. Ruthie was terrified and lost. She felt like a little girl all over again.

Ruthie quickly wiped her tears away, when she heard the back gate open. Sam and David walked in with scared and worried little faces.

"Hi Ruthie," they said taking a seat beside her. Feeling the need to take care of them she wrapped her arms around them.

"Come on let's go get the rooms ready for everyone." she said, "Simon, Matt, and Mary should all be here soon. Come on."

Matt hadn't sleepy a wink, the whole flight he'd been looking for anything that could have caused his father to pass out and go into a coma. He hadn't stopped surfing the web since they'd boarded. In Matt's mind everything had a reason and he intended to find out what had caused this.

"Matt?" Sarah said taking his hand, "Everything is going to be fine."

"I know. I just want to make sure my boys get to know their grandpa." he said looking down at his sleeping sons. They looked so peacefully. He wished he could feel some peace but Matt was worried sick.


	5. Chapter Four: Untitled

**Chapter Four**

**Untitled**

Simon sat beside Sandy biting his lip they were five minutes from his childhood home. He was worried about his father but he was having very strong feelings for the woman sitting next to him. The memory of the day he'd almost married Rose and what she had said to him kept coming into his mind.

* * *

"_Simon we can't do this." Rose began._

"_I know." Simon said, "It just doesn't feel…"_

"…_right!" Rose said finishing his sentence, "I'm sorry Simon. I love you I do, but I'm still in love with Alberto."_

"_I know that Rose. That's why we can't do this." He said giving her a hug, "He's a lucky guy."_

"_Thank you Simon." Rose said smiling, "You'll always have a place in my heart. You don't know what you've done for me. What your family has done for me. I'm very grateful."_

"_I'm glad I met you Rose." Simon said._

"_I'm glad I met you Simon Camden." Rose said wiping a tear away, "And Sandy's lucky too."_

"_Sandy?" Simon asked looking at Rose. _

"_You're in love with her Simon." Rose told him, "You need to see it and do something about it. She loves you too. She always has that's why I didn't want you alone with her, but I realize now that I wanted you for the wrong reasons and you wanted me for the wrong reasons. Go to her Simon." _

* * *

"Simon?" Sandy said shaking him, "You their?"

"Yeah," Simon said, "I just zoned out."

"Well we're here." Sandy said getting out of the car and unbuckling Aaron from his car seat, "You coming?"

"Yeah." Simon said getting out of the car and heading into the back yard. Maybe Rose was right he thought to himself. Maybe he did love Sandy. Looking back he saw her juggling Aaron, his diaper bag, her purse, and her ringing cell. Smiling a little Simon walked over and took Aaron from her.

"Thank you." Sandy said answering her cell, "Hey, Who's calling?"

"It's Rose." Rose said.

"Hey Rose. I'm kind of busy." she said, "Can I call you back?"

"Have you told them?" Rose asked.

"No, but I will." Sandy said, "Now I have to go."

"What was that about?" Simon asked after she hung up.

"Nothing," Sandy said, "Just something Rose wants me to do."

* * *

Ruthie had done more cleaning than she had in her entire life. She had cleaned the entire house and done all the laundry for her mom. She kept trying to find things to do to keep her mind off her dad. She was changing the sheets on her bed when she heard Simon walk in.

"Ruthie?" he asked. As soon as she heard his voice Ruthie flew across the room and into the comfort of her big brother's arms.

"It's going to be ok." Simon said hugging her, "It is. I just know it is!"

"I hope you're right." Ruthie said tears falling down her cheeks, "I'll never forgive myself if he doesn't wake up."

"Ruthie this isn't your fault."

"I know," Ruthie said, "but I still feel guilty."

"What's that smell?" Robbie asked walking into the room, "It smells like smoke."

"Oh my god!" Ruthie said running down the stairs and into the kitchen were flames were coming out of the oven.

"Baking Soda?" Robbie yelled. Simon grabbed it and threw it on the flames until they subsided. Opening the oven door, it revealed a black pile of goop in a pan.

"What's it suppose to be?" Simon asked as Sandy walked in.

"Whoa what did you burn?"

"Tuna casserole." Ruthie answered.

"It was set at 500 degrees, no wonder it burned." Robbie said, "What were you thinking?"

"That it would cook faster?" Ruthie replied causing everyone to laugh.

"I hate to say it Ruthie but I think you're a worse cook then even dad." Simon said turning the laughter off. Everyone's face dropped in guilt. They were all feeling how can I be laughing when he's practically dying?

* * *

At that very moment Eric was lying in a hospital bed but he wasn't in a normal dream. Not that dreams were every normal. He felt like he was floating. Opening his eyes he looked around. He was standing outside of a hospital room.

"Where am I?" he asked.

"You've been having too many doubts, Eric." A warm voice said coming up behind him, "You've been feeling like you've helped no one."

"Who are you?" Eric asked.

"My name is Grace." The woman said, "I'm you're great grandmother."

"Where am I?" Eric asked getting more confused.

"I can't explain it to you." she said, "Use your blind faith."

"Why am I here?" Eric asked, "Am I dead?"

"No you're not dead, dear." she said, "And you're here to see what you've done. You're here to learn that you have a purpose even though lately you've felt like you haven't."

"How do you know that?"

"I just do. Now come let's go inside." Grace said walking through the closed hospital door. Eric followed. Their lying on the hospital bed was his mother with a baby in her arms and his father beside her.

"Is that?"

"You." Grace answered.

"He's so tiny." his mother, Ruth said smiling down at his younger self.

'Yes he is. Fine job, Ruth." The Colonel, John Camden, his father said, "Fine job."

"I'm sorry." his mother said.

"So am I."

"Don't be." she said, "We were both scared."

"And not now?"

"No not now." she said, "For some reason I feel like there is something important about him."

"What should we name him?" he asked.

"What about Eric?" she said, "After the man that introduced us."

"Eric…hmmm…I like that." he said, "Eric it is. Eric Camden."

"I love you John."

"I love you Ruth."

"You kept them together." Grace said, "They would have broken up because your father was transferred but because of you they got married. If they hadn't have gotten married your mother wouldn't be alive. The day after she moved out of her apartment, the building caught fire and burnt to the ground. And your father wouldn't have made it through all he's seen if she wasn't their with him. They were meant to be together and you did that."

* * *

Matt and Mary and their extend family arrived later that night. The Camden home had always been packed but never this packed. After Matt got Sarah and his son's settled he head to the hospital with Mary and Simon to see his dad.

"Any change?" Matt asked his mother.

"No," Annie said, "but I know it's going to be ok. I have a feeling."

"Can we see him?" Mary asked.

"Yes. Go in." Annie said.

"Hey dad." Mary said taking a seat on the end of the bed. She took his hand as tears fell down her face. Simon put a hand on his older sister's shoulder and held back his own tears.

"Mom you should really get some sleep." Matt said, "Go home I'll stay with him."

"No Matt." Annie said, "I can't leave him."

"Did the doctor's say anything?" Matt asked.

"No their baffled." she said.


	6. Chapter Five: Courage

**Chapter Five**

**Courage **

After visiting with their father Mary, Matt, and Simon headed back to the Camden home. Mary checked on Carlos and her children and then went to the back porch to check her messages in private.

"You have one message." The automated voice said, "Message one. Hello this Amber Grant, please call me back as soon as possible. I need to know you're decision and soon Mrs. Rivera. So I can make arrangements. Thank you. Bye. "

Mary deleted the message so Carlos wouldn't hear it. She didn't know how she was going to break this to him. How was she going to tell him? How was she going to tell her parents? How was everyone going to handle this? She'd put everyone through so much last year with divorcing Carlos and then remarrying Carlos and then having the twins. She didn't know how they'd react. She didn't even know how she was supposed to react.

_

* * *

_

Mary didn't know how to react to the little blue plus sign. She didn't know weather to cry or scream. She was so mad at herself it wasn't funny. Why had she been so stupid? Why had she slept with a complete stranger? Anger filled her as she threw the pregnancy test across the room and into the trash can. She knew she had to tell Colonel and Ruth but she didn't know how to and she couldn't even imagine telling her parents. She didn't realize it but she blamed them even now for no reason. And that made her blame herself for blaming them.

_Mary stood up and headed out of the bathroom and into her bedroom, she flopped onto her bed. She felt like crying but she couldn't bring herself to do it. All she seemed to be able to think about was Johnny and Frankie. She seemed to be envisioning herself in Frankie's situation only worse because she wouldn't have a Johnny, then again that might not be bad thing. She felt all alone in this big world, that seemed to gobble people whole. She just didn't know if she was going to make it out of this situation in one piece. _

* * *

"Mary?" Carlos called walking out the back door towards her. He seemed to keep pulling her out of the past that seemed to be haunting her every waking moment.

"Hey." Mary said standing up and walking over to her husband. Carlos wrapped his arms around her but he felt the stiffness and knew something was wrong.

"Mary, what's going on?" he asked her for the millionth time.

"Nothing," she said with a very fake smile, "I'm fine."

"Dad?" Carlos asked in concern for his father-in-law.

"No change." she said.

"Why didn't you wake me up when you got back?" Carlos asked her.

"You we're sleeping so peacefully I couldn't." she said opening the back door and heading into the house.

* * *

The next morning Sandy found herself sitting in the Camden's kitchen drinking her coffee and contemplating telling Simon the truth. She didn't know if she could tell him with everything going on with his father, then again how could she not tell him. Sighing she set down her coffee cup and pulled her robe around her a little tighter. The back door opened and Martin walked into the kitchen.

"What are you doing here?" he asked walking towards her.

"You haven't heard?" Sandy asked.

"Heard what?" Martin asked with a puzzled look, "What's going on?"

"Martin…Reverend Camden's in the hospital he's in a…a…a coma." she said in a shaky voice.

"What?" Martin said.

"He's in a coma." she said biting her lip.

"Where's Ruthie?" he asked.

"Upstairs in her room, I guess." she said. Before Sandy could even finish he flew up the stairs and headed into the attic bedroom.

Martin found Ruthie lying in her bed awake. She looked like she hadn't slept. She seemed to be lost in her thoughts. He'd never seen her like this and it was breaking him into millions of little pieces.

"Ruthie?" he said taking a seat on the end of her bed, she didn't speak she just seemed to lay their in silence. It was such a sad site.

"I'm sorry about everything." Martin said after awhile. He placed his hand on hers and that seemed to be all she needed. Ruthie flew up and fell into his arms. She began to cry hysterically. Martin didn't know what to say or what do, so he just held her and rubbed her back as she cried.

* * *

"It just doesn't make since." Matt said for the thousandth time. He just couldn't seem to give up; he needed to find out the answers to his father's mysterious illness.

"Matt?" Sarah said walking over to him, "Why don't you go and lay down. You haven't slept at all."

"I can't." Matt said, "Not until I figure this out and help my dad."

"I understand but you can't help him like this." she said, "maybe some sleep will refresh you and then you'll be able to think of something."

"Alright." Matt said, "But only a little nap."

"Deal." Sarah said taking his hand a pulling him over to the bed.

* * *

Kevin watched Lucy once again head into the nursery. Sometimes he just wanted to rip everything off the walls and tear the room to shreds. He wanted his wife back and he was terrified that that would never happen. He found Savannah trying to get out of her crib by herself again. He knew pretty soon she was going to need a toddler bed. She just seemed to be growing up so fast and he was so worried that Lucy was missing this but he didn't know how to help her.

"Daddy!" Savannah said throwing up her arms. Kevin smiled and put her on the floor. She ran straight over to her baby dolls and began to play.

"What do you want for breakfast, Honey?" he asked smiling at her.

"Pancakes!" she yelled jumping up, "Pancakes, pancakes!"

"Pancakes it is." Kevin said with a smile. He wished that pancakes could make Lucy as happy as they did Savannah.

* * *

"Eric it's time to see more." Grace told her great grandson with a smile she offered him her hand, "Come."

"Where are we going now?" he asked her.

"To see some other people that you've helped that you didn't even know that you helped." she said with a smile. There was a flash of light and Eric found himself in a very familiar room and he found a five year old version of himself playing.

"Eric?" he heard his mother call. His younger self jumped up and headed down the hall to his mother's room. Eric smiled he remember this moment like it was yesterday. His mother had a huge smile on her face. She had on a blue dress for some reason he'd never forgotten that dress. She smiled at his younger self and took his younger hand and placed it on her round belly.

"You're baby brother or sisters in their." she said with a smile, "You're going to be a good big brother when the baby comes aren't, you?"

"Yep!" little Eric declared, "When will the baby come?"

"In about two months." she replied.

"But why can't I be a big brother now?" he asked putting his hands on his little hips.

"Because the baby isn't big enough." she said with a laugh as she ruffled his hair, "Now I called you in here because Daddy and I are going to go out tonight and Christina is coming to baby-sit. Can you promise to be on you're best behavior."

"I promise." little Eric said with a smile.

"Who was I helping here?" he asked Grace.

"You'll see." she replied and the room seemed to spin and he found his little self hours later with Christina Corners. He hadn't seen her since that day but he couldn't remember the reason why he hadn't. He watched as the two of them ate the dinner Ruth had made earlier and then he watched Christina get up and head into the bathroom. His younger self followed her and watched as she made herself throw up her meal in the toilet and flush it.

"Why do you do that?" little Eric asked causing Christina to jump back.

"Oh you scared me!" She said putting a hand on her heart.

"Why do you do that?" he asked again.

"Because I'm sick." she said.

"You're sick a lot." he said.

"I do it to make me pretty." she said after awhile.

"But you're beautiful!" Little Eric said and threw his arms around her and kissed her cheek.

"How did I help her?" he asked.

"After you said that she got very sick and the doctors didn't know what was wrong. Bulimia and Anorexia weren't known like they are today and the night after she was admitted to the hospital she got the courage to tell her parents and the doctor. She was sent to a hospital that dealt with eating disorders and well she later went on to help many other people like her." Grace said, "She has a sign hanging in her office and it reads 'But you're beautiful'. Eric because of what you said for some reason she got the courage to get help and now she's saved so many lives all because of you."

* * *

Sandy found Simon sitting on the back porch and some how she seemed to find the courage to tell him what she should have told him days ago.

"Simon Aaron isn't Martin's baby." she said taking a seat beside him.

"What?" Simon asked.

"I had a paternity test and…"

"And?"

"He's yours." she said.

"How do you know? You don't have a sample…" he began.

"I know because you and Martin are the only two people I've slept with in the past three years." she said, "He's your son."

"My son." Simon said unable to move.


	7. Chapter Six: Afraid Of The Reaction

**Chapter Six**

**Afraid Of The Reaction**

Mary found herself with her hand on the door handle of the room where her husband napped with her daughters and son, debating on weather or not to go in and tell her husband the truth. The reason she was acting so strange. The reason she had needed to go to Florida and the reason she was so lost at the moment trying to make up her mind. After awhile she let go of the handle and turned and walked back down stairs. She'd feed the babies earlier and she needed to get out. She needed to think. The truth was that she was afraid of his reaction. She'd already put him through so much with getting a divorce and then not getting a divorce. And before that she'd accused him of cheating. The reaction is what was worrying her to no end.

* * *

"_You're what?" Ruth Camden asked in shock as she looked at Mary in disbelief, she was worried that she was losing her hearing because Mary had just said she was pregnant._

"_I can't tell them." Mary said, "I've put everyone through so much, I just can't." _

* * *

"Mary?" her brother-in-law, Kevin said making her realize that she had walked all the way over to her sister's house.

"Hey." She said trying to force a smile but with no luck.

"Are you worried about Dad?" Kevin asked sensing that Mary was upset.

"I guess," Mary said, "but I have a feeling that he's going to be alright. I don't know why but I just do."

"Then what's wrong?" Kevin asked cutting to the chase.

"I can't tell you, I haven't even told Carlos." Mary replied.

"Come on in and have a cup of coffee." Kevin said, "You can tell me. I promise not to tell anyone else."

* * *

Ruthie awoke to find herself still in Martin's arms. It seemed they'd fallen asleep together. She knew she was playing with fire and setting herself up to get hurt, but she snuggled back into him and tried to go back to sleep.

Martin smiled to himself as he felt her snuggle back into his embrace. Earlier she's fallen asleep on him and she had looked so peaceful that he'd been unable to wake her and the feeling of her in his arms felt so good that had pretended to go to sleep just so he could hold her longer.

* * *

"Does Martin know?" Simon asked Sandy after awhile of silence.

"No he doesn't," Sandy said, "I don't know how to tell him that his son isn't his. How can I? I don't even want to think about his reaction or what the look on his face will be."

"You have to tell him." Simon said, "You're not saying you're not going to tell him? Are you?"

"No, I know I have to tell him," Sandy said standing up and turning away, "This is going to break his heart."

* * *

Mary sat across from Kevin waiting for his reaction, she'd told him everything. The entire sad tale that she'd been hiding. What surprised her was the question he asked next. It had nothing to do with Carlos. It was about her and what she wanted.

"What do you want to do?" he asked.

* * *

"_Here's what we've decided," Colonel said, "we're going to help you." _

"_Thank you. Thank you." Mary said hugging him._

"_You only have two options," Ruth began, "It's too late for an abortion."_

"_The decision is up to you." Colonel said. _

"_If you choose to keep the baby, you will have to tell Annie and Eric." Ruth said, "You're going to have no choice."_

"_But, if you give the baby up for adoption. This secret doesn't have to leave the house." Colonel said looking his granddaughter in the eye. Mary had to admit she was surprise at how well they were being about all of this. They'd only found out yesterday. _

"_Will help you with whatever decision you make." Ruth said, "But the choice once again is yours to make. You're going to have to live with it for the rest of your life." _

* * *

"What do you want to do?" Kevin asked a second time as he refilled her cup of coffee.

"I know what I want to do now." Mary said, "Thanks you helped me decided in some way."

"Well? What did you decided?" Kevin asked.

"I Think Carlos deserve to at least know that first," Mary said giving Kevin a hug, "Lucy's lucky to have you."

"I wish I was enough," Kevin said, "Or that at least Savannah was."

* * *

Lucy stood hidden behind the entry way to the kitchen. She'd only heard the part about herself and she felt guilt and remorse fill her. How could she have done this? Just let one horrible earth shattering accident destroy her family more than it already had.

_

* * *

_

Lucy smiled at her reflection in the mirror and patted her baby bump, she loved being pregnant. It was the most wonderful feeling.

"_Lucy?" She heard her husband calling from downstairs. Smiling she headed for the stairs._

"_I'm coming." she yelled. She hadn't even seen Savannah's baby doll, that had been sitting on the fifth step from the bottom but she felt it when she slipped and went tumbling down the stairs. She landed on the landing with a thud causing Kevin to come running. She felt pain in her stomach like she'd never felt before it was like someone was ripping her babies from her womb. It was terrifying and horrific. She could feel the liquid slipping out from between her legs and she knew it was blood. She was losing her babies and she couldn't stop it, a mother's worst fear. She felt defenseless as the darkness over came her. Hours later she would awake to find that she'd lost her sons. Lost. That word seemed so wrong. Lost. She'd lost her babies. _

* * *

"He doesn't get it." Lucy said to herself as she shook herself from her memories, "I can't enjoy him or Savannah, when it's my fault that the boys are dead. I should have been more careful."

**Author's Note: I tried to base Lucy losing her twins from what three of my friends who lost their babies, told me. Obviously I can't really describe the feeling since it's never happened to me but I tried to take from what they've told me. They all lost their babies in a different way and dealt with it differently and I'm trying to portray a bit of each them in Lucy.**


End file.
